This past week, Kristin and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary, and I've decided to share 3 lessons that have helped us to not only survive, but thrive at the completion of our first complete decade of marriage.
And if you’re single, I hope these nuggets of wisdom give you insight into things you might want to begin working on in your current or next relationship.
Key Points from Stephen:
- Know, believe and act as though nothing is more important to your marriage than the relationship between husband and wife
- No thing and/or no one should come before your spouse.
- When other things become more important, such as careers, children, and personal pursuits, trouble is going to peak in and cause havoc on your marriage
- No matter what else is going on, you must absolutely make the marriage your top priority
- Just like we schedule everything else … work, travel, kids activities, podcast interviews, birthday parties and everything else, we have had to do the same. We calendar time. Sounds very formal, but we need to be sure we don't lose the importance of time spent together.
- Even when you’re not on a date night, remember that you can impact your partner in a positive way by simply increasing the use of positive words and statements. Practice on a daily basis using words and phrases like:”I love you”, “I'm here for you”, “I understand what you're dealing with, but I know you can do this”, …. also phrases like “I'm sorry”, “Thank you”, “I really appreciate all that you've done today” “Babe, you got this!” “I believe in you”
- No two people agree on everything, and that's okay, but it's important to be okay with each other's differences
- The important key here is respect. Respect each other, avoid verbal abuse, and keep the insults to yourself.
- Just as positive words can speak life into your partner, negative words are like squeezing toothpaste out of its tube — once it is out you can never get it back in again. So take the time to think before you speak and if you've got nothing positive to say, don't even open your mouth.
- Accept your partner exactly as they are. Don't try to change him/her.
But do try to learn how to agree to disagree.
- Support and assist each other in being the best you each can be.
- Remember that a marriage isn’t always 50/50, sometimes it means you’ve got to be the one that gives 100 to allow your partner to focus on the task at hand, but knowing in the long term, it’s gonna be a huge win for the team.
- If you are going through some STUFF in your marriage and you need more than these tips are going to do to help, please consider talking with a marriage counselor or pastor or someone who is qualified to help you get things back on track.
Thanks for Listening!
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