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Living Lies without The Tries

Living Lies without The Tries

One day you're going to win the lottery.  One day you're going to make a million dollars and you won't ever have to lift another finger at that job.   One day you'll have that body of your dreams and be in the best shape of your life. One day you'll stop cursing, lying and passing judgement on others.  One day you'll wake up and realize you need to stop day dreaming, believing that it's all going to go away or go your way in the blink of your eyes.  We need to get real here and if you want the above, realize that it aint gonna come easy.

Guys, I'm the first to say that I'm guilty of some of the above.  I'm an entrepreneur who believes I'll win big some day, just not in the lottery.  I do believe I'll make a million again some day.  The body of a stud??  Well, a guy can always dream or he can subscribe to P90x or Insanity, and that's my goal for the near future.  I actually did start that suicide mission a couple weeks ago with P90x, only to realize having a 2 week old infant and being as sore as I was a week in while trying to walk around with a baby in those barely usuable arms, wasn't quite a smart idea lol.  So I'm shooting for a start in the coming month, date to be announced so I can hold myself accountable here on the blog.

So, are you a victim of some level of lies to yourselves?  On some level, are you lying to yourself about an unlikely occurence that would take a strike of lightning luck to happen overnight without some effort on your part?  So for example, regarding finances, you can become financially free… unlikely to happen via the lotto as that's a one in 20 million shot, but it could happen by working your butts off and don't be surprised if you've tried 9,998 times and failed. It might be that 9,999th try that cracks open the door and the 10,000th try that breaks it down and sets you free!

Same goes for that rock solid body of your dreams, but again it's only going to happen by working really hard day in and day out.   As they say in Jamaica, ‘if yu waan good, yu nose haffi run.'  Translated, if you want to succeed you've gotta work really hard for it.  So no matter what the goal or objective, it's not going to come by you lying to yourself that you won't have to do something to achieve your dream and that some day it'll just magically appear.   Listen, if you're in the comfort zone of your life, things aren't going to progress.  You've gotta step outside your comfort zone and attack your goals, and this is usually when things magically start to happen, often times in your favor.

So here are my 5 objectives for the coming 2 years, that I've got on my hit list.  I'm putting them here, in hopes that I'll feel even more motivated now and accountable to accomplish at least 4 of the 5 and hit that 80% win rate, so I can hold my head high and not see myself looking at this in two years telling myself that I lied:

1. I will lose 20 lbs and get in the best shape of my life before I'm age 35 on April 21, 2012.

2. My net worth will cross $1 million by July 2012!

3. I will start a foundation for a worthy cause by July 2012.

4. I will take my wife back to South Africa on an adventure that she's always wanted by December 2012 (she once lived there for a year, and has always wanted to show me the country).

5. Lastly, I'll have read the entire New Testament to my daughter at least once by June 2012 (This is a thought I had to knock out putting her to sleep at night by reading the best book on the planet to her, while increasing my wisdom in the word).

The above is way easier said than done, so here's to some really hard work ahead!

If you take anything away from this blog post, please know that 1. you need to  write out a list of your written goals,2. you need to give yourselves a deadline date as to when you'll achieve them, and 3. have an accountability buddy, who will keep you in check and ask how those goals are coming along.  This way, you won't have a chance to lie to yourself and tell yourself ‘it wasn't that important anyway', when the tough gets going.  4. Keep your attitudes positive, chase your dreams and achieve the greatest success you've ever imagined.

While reading the book of Ephesians this morning I came across the following passage I thought I'd share, which puts the above in perspective of where your focus and your thoughts should always be as you chase the goals and objectives you set out to accomplish in your life:

Ephesians 3: 16 – 21

16I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Have a terrific week!

 

 

Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

All positive male role models please stand up!

All positive male role models please stand up!

A frightening statistic that I came across states that one in four of America’s children live in mother-only families.  That’s 25% of kids today that don’t have a father present.  To make matters worse, of the children living with their mothers, 35% never see their fathers and a mere 24% see their fathers less than once a month.  That’s an insult to our generation of men.

Where are the real men today?

I looked a bit further and found that with the education system the way it is, most of these kids are likely to be taught by a woman as well.  So at school and at home, there are so many young boys that aren’t accessing the positive male bonding and contact that they need to be raised to be good contributors to society.

So of course it begs the question:  where are our future generation of men expected to learn the positive attributes of being a good Christian man, if we aren’t around to teach them?  Television, music, movies, the streets?  Is Jay Z or Kobe Bryant  suppose to raise our sons?  Since we aren’t occupying that time, someone is.  And it’s likely the music, the movies, the sports stars, the friends you couldn’t tell them to steer away from… who knows, it might even be that drug dealer that sees the vulnerability in a lonely kid and takes advantage of creating that habit that won’t easily be broken.  And for the resentment many young boys could have for the void of not having a ‘dad’ present, we could be looking at a generation to come that is searching and lacking lots of love and in place, willing to share this anger in a number of ways that hurts our society and cultures.

It’s frightening to hear that even in the homes with a father, research shows that these dads are spending LESS THAN 10 MINUTES A DAY one-on-one with their kids!

Guys, we need to turn this tide right now, today!  We need to encourage our male counterparts, brothers, cousins, uncles, fathers and co-workers.  We all need to step up our game fellas.

As great as a mother can be, she’ll naturally teach her kids to be soft, gentle, nurturing, comforting, protective and emotional.  We need our fathers and positive male role models, to help teach our future men, how to be challenging, tough, playful, and strong.   We need to teach our young men of the love of Jesus Christ.  We need to teach our young men to respect and love our women.  We need to teach them responsibility and accountability.  We need to teach them how to hunt for success in an ever changing world where they now believe that they’ll need to be a Lebron James or an Usher to be a success.  We need to teach them to be the next Einstein, the next Martin Luther, the next C.S. Lewis, the next Barack Obama, or the next Bill Gates.

Without our positive men around, it’s clear that these young boys are turning to criminal activity, premarital sexual activity at an earlier age, they’re doing worse in school and all around, they’re participating in unhealthy activities.

Men, whether you’re a father or not, we need you to take a more active role.  Be determined to spend at least 1 hour of undivided time each and every day with your kids.  Yes, we’re all busy, but don’t go complaining when it’s your kid that’s on drugs, or having sex within the same sex or raping some girl, or dropping out of high school.  Don’t allow someone else to raise your child and teach them habits you can’t easily correct, while you’re busy ‘providing’ for your household.  It’s not worth it in the long run.

If you’re not a dad, you can still be a positive male role model.  Volunteer for a youth ministry, Big Brothers-Big Sisters, Boys Club or Girl’s Inc.  Spend some time volunteering with a middle school, where you might spend time doing an after school program to teach young men the values of growing up in our world today.

Listen, big or small, we can all make a huge difference, but reading this and then going home to plop in your couch with the remote isn’t going to change a thing.  We need to take some action now, or we are going to leave the coming generation in a serious social shift that is going to be catastrophic!

Be blessed!

 

 

Photo by Zach Vessels on Unsplash

Did I plant the right seed?

Did I plant the right seed?

Sometimes life can seem so incredibly different than the way we planned it to go.

A wise uncle of mine once said something that was simple but profound.  It took years for the statement to sit and be processed and I am still processing it 17 years after hearing it for the first time. In paraphrasing his wisdom that was shared, he said that:

What I’d have done at age 16, would affect the guy I became at age 17, and that what I did at age 17 would affect who I became at age 18 and so on…

The statement seemed too simple to even make sense sometimes, until you’re years down the road and you then realize that if you weren’t smart about building the right foundation at that early age,  you could easily be caught in your 30s, 40s or 50s, wondering what went wrong!

I’m so grateful for every blessing God has brought me in my lifetime.  I am blessed to have a beautiful wife and a wonderful new baby girl.  But I’m a little behind my goals for the ‘day I became a dad’, and I’m left wondering, ‘did I do it the way I should have’?

I believe that I’ve worked really hard towards my goals of being happy, spiritually balanced, married, a father and financially free at 30.  I made some good decisions that put me ahead of schedule on some things and made some ill advised ones too that brought me back below the mark.

As hard as I’ve worked and still am working, I’ve got this feeling of not being satisfied now.  For the most part, I’m happily married, growing spiritually, but not financially where I wanted to be. And now I’m left wondering if my feelings of disappointment towards my financial placing are just the fuel I need to keep chasing towards my finish line.  Or could I one day get to the goal of financial freedom, and realize that the financial freedom was a false positive?

Should I be content and happy with the blessings around me and not be as determined towards achievement of money and material pleasures?  How much is too much?

I don’t have any answers to these questions, and I’m hoping that I’ll continue to use the wisdom and experiences I’ve got, to chart the ‘right’ course.

As I was thinking this over though, I’m left thinking of something my pastor recently said, mentioning that the devil wants us to focus on our failures and will keep us often looking at the mistakes we’d made.  The easiest thing we can do is to get back on the course of what was working and continue to work towards our goals, whatever they might be.

Have a blessed day!

Cheers

Stephen

 

 

Photo by Daniel De Nadai on Unsplash